I need a hug.
Not a butt in the air, no touching below the waste hug.
Not a one armed we-used-to-be-lovers-but-I'm-dating-someone-else-now hug.
Not a quickie hug.
Not a bear hug.
Not even a heart-to-heart hug.
I WANT A MELTING HUG.
And I am going out to find one today.
Which means I have to dare to give somebody a melting hug today.
Giving a melting hug means I dare to be uncomfortable until I melt.
More, it means I dare to be with the other person's discomfort till he or she melts.
We're uncomfortable melting into another person's body and presence.
Not even with our lovers --
and certainly not with other people, definitely not in public places.
People, our comfort zone is killing us!
I am getting out of my comfort zone today.
Dare to be uncomfortable for a few seconds.
Give and receive a melting hug.
A melting hug is embracing belly to belly, heart to heart, and breathing with it until you feel yourself relax and yield to the presence of the other person and YOURSELF.
Here's how to begin.
-- Start with the ask. Ask someone if they will share a melting hug with you.
Those words are important: SHARE a melting hug. You are not giving a hug or taking a hug.
-- Explain that you will hold each other in a belly to belly hug until you feel like you have melted into one other.
When/if they agree -- consent is necessary --
-- Stand up and find a physically and mutually comfortable embrace. This may take some adjusting, and you'll feel it when you get it.
-- You hold the embrace, relaxing into it, adjusting your body as needed, and breathing, until you pass through the awkward uncomfortable phase, and feel the love well up in you.
It not romantic or sexual. It is a HUMAN HUG.
It melts away sadness, anxiety, and separation.
It lasts until you both feel complete, having moved through awkwardness and unease to ease, comfort, pleasure and connection.
A melting hug generates an unfamiliar sense of I am present. I am worthy. I am OK.
In a melting hug, each person is self-responsible, and the hug gives them a physical, sensate, and visceral experience of that.
If a trigger happens, and a person is unable to complete the melting hug experience, let them back away, generously holding their gaze, and thank them for the hug. Don't worry about triggers.
A good way to complete any melting hug is to slowly release and separate, still touching hands or arms, and gazing into one another's eyes.
Say THANK YOU, and complete.
This is free and simple and easy. A pure gift. The fewer words the better.
Will you dare to share a melting hug today?
Let me know how it goes.