Orgasmic Alchemy

Turning off the Electric Fence

I am an expert on shame. I lived inside a very small playing field of my own creation, fenced in by shame I didn't even know about.

A couple of years ago I confronted my own shame for perhaps the first time in my life. The home  and community--Southern Baptists--operated on shame. It was how good people behaved, honoring the Lord with their shame before him. My shame was so ingrained that I felt shame about being alive. Having any desire. All of my life felt like a f-uck up.

Not very DIVA of me, right? YES it’s total, full-frontal DIVA. I admit I did not have the courage to strip myself bare and face my shame. But when Divine Love itself peeled away my defenses, I stood there, naked in the presence of my Shame. I stared into my Shame. I rebuked it, which means, I denied its power over me. I recognized the great boulder that had blocked my path all my life had shrunk to the size of a tiny pebble. I picked it up for a souvenir, and walked on down the path. I wrote about this powerful moment in my blog. You can read it here.

In that moment I learned that shame is the doorway to transformation. I was elated. I thought I was done.

hahahaha! I was not done with shame, though blessedly, I usually recognize the signs that shame is blocking me from fulfilling my desire and living my luscious, powerful life. I can move through the door to my transformation--or not, as I choose. Shame is subtle, and persuasive, and sly.

It is at the root of resistance.

Chester Mainard, an extraordinary teacher about the body and soul, expressed it this way.

One of the tricky things about shame is that it is often invisible to the person experiencing it. Shame creates an “electric fence” within ourselves. Once you get shocked two or three times you stay back from the fence. The electricity can get turned off but you still don’t go near the fence anymore. When we are operating in our comfort zone we are actually operating inside the shame. Shame operates by avoiding the feeling of it, and it is tricky sometimes to notice what you are avoiding: “Oh, I’m not feeling anything right now.” That may be true or maybe shame is operating so well that you’ve learned to stay well inside that fence, not taking any risks that may result in the activation of the shame.

I see myself in this quote, Do you?

Shame’s invisible fence looks like avoidance, passivity, disarray, invisibility, hiding.
Shame looks like settling. I have heard shame say things like this:
“I am not that unhappy.”
“My se x life is O.K.”
“I am so busy!”
“I don’t need any help.”
“They won’t make it without me.”
“I can’t risk anything right now.”

Are you living inside an electric fence? How small is your comfort zone? Stretch out your hand. Let your imagination fly into your desire. How far does it go before shame talks you down?

What limits have your created on your pleasure? Your income? Your impact on the world? Inside your electric fence, you are kept small, in at least one area of your life, and probably many. Stop dying before you are dead. Stop limiting the magnificent possiblities of your life.

Where is your switch to turn off that electric fence? Where is your doorway to transformation and your fully-lived magnificent life?

(Hint: you can find it in your body.)

You get what you need

When you make a decision that nothing will stop you.

Tomorrow I am slipping down to New York City to get what I need.

To receive for myself what I give to people with so much passion and love.

I will be seeing a sacred intimate so that I can get what I need.

For me this is a no excuses, no option, Do it or else, decision

It's that important to me.

When I return, after a day of rest and integration, I'll be full to overflowing, 

ready and available to you, to give you what you need. 

Don't let anything stop you either.

with love

DC

 

 

I Love Desire

The Vortex of Desire, Part 2

Does the Vortex of your desire feel like Dorothy’s tornado? Is your life swirling with chaos, fear, and frustration?  Do you feel like desire hurts because you don’t believe you’ll ever have what you want? Do you put your hands over your eyes and ears and play small, because it seems safer than riding that wild horse?

Would it be easier to become a Buddhist?

Clearing out my office of way too much old stuff, I opened a folded paper to find a poem by Molly Peacock, Why I am Not a Buddhist. It begins:

    “I love desire, the state of want and the thought of how to get; building a kingdom in a soul requires desire.”

I love desire, too. I love the state of wanting something that makes a hole in my heart, in my life. Desire makes for itself a vacant space for that beloved desired thing, person, event, condition to come in. That’s why I cleaned out my office: to make space for something I dearly desire.

I love desire even though it hurts sometimes. I may be acutely aware of the edges of that space, and the emptiness can feel so big!

What’s that feeling like for you? What pops for you when you hear DESIRE?

“... and the thought of how to get...”

You have to taste it, round in your mouth, trace the outlines of the shape of what you want. Fill the space with flavor, texture, color, smell. It burns and glows with pulsing heat. You gotta feel it! Yes, feel it all over-- it’s sexual!

“building a kingdom in a soul...”

Oh, this is good! It’s building a life from desire. Yes, you can have what you want, the way you want it! Though you have to know what it is you want.

What’s your soul’s kingdom like? Can you call its name? Do you keep its photo in your wallet? Do you flirt with it? It will come when you call, and you’ll see it faster when you know what it looks like and feels like!

You gotta feel it like you’ve already got it.

When your divine longing makes you cry out Will I Ever Have??? What’s taking You so long?

Pause. Be still. Feel the deliciousness of the desire in your body. Ask your desire what it wants you to do for it right now.

Are you blushing?
Your desire wants you to have an orgasm for it. Want it, love it, believe in it and feel it that much!

Yeah, baby!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Diva Carla helps you create your beautiful life from the heart of your desire, and fire it up with your free flowing sexual energy. Click HERE to schedule your complimentary Desire Discovery phone conversation with Diva Carla.

The Vortex of Desire

The Vortex of Desire, Part 1


This morning my journal fell open to a page where I'd written: “When we want to create something we do not yet believe we possess, we stand inside of fear, rather than come from a place of possibility." from Katherine Woodward Thomas, in Calling in the One.

These days I have been feeling myself very much on the edge of my life, staring over a vast expanse, succumbing to vertigo, terrified of spreading my wings. NOT TRUSTING MY WINGS TO UNFURL AND SUPPORT ME.

Do you ever feel this way?

It is easy when faced with challenging decisions, especially ones that promise great change and growth, to let fear govern thoughts. Instead of owning expansion, we may feel contracted and anxious. This is not a productive mindset in which to make important decisions.

When life is calling us to greatness, to healing, to play bigger in our world, it can be so scary. It feels like we risk so much. We see our options and resources as small and inadequate to meet the challenge. It's easy to look back and see the contracted, tight, familiar funnel of the past. When we look into the wide mouth of the vortex, we tend to see the whirling chaos and speed.

How can I navigate this fearful whirlwind, you may ask. Who will I be, what will it cost, what may I lose?

The only way to navigate change is to remain in the center. In the center you are anchored by stillness, and your soul instantly expands. You can feel what that's like in your experience, and once felt, the contraction and anxiety become intolerable.

How do you reach the center? Follow your desire. Know what you want, and see that there is no room for it in the contracted, straight-jacket "safety" of the past. What ever you want specifically, it adds up to More Love, More Happiness, More Possibility, More Peace, More Abundance.

It's our natural state.

Your desire calls you into the Vortex of creation. You get to choose from a place of expansion and possibility.

It feels GOOD.

Self-Love: it's essential

Do you love yourself?

How much? How often?

Are you aware that your ability to be, do, or have anything you desire is a direct result of how much you feel and express Self-Love?

This is a best-kept secret. Very few people know this secret, and fewer still teach people its true power.

I can teach you~
Because Self-Love is every human being’s essential life’s work.

Self-Love gives you the confidence, energy, and power to succeed at anything you desire: relationships, making money, creativity, spiritual life, changing the world~ and Sex.

Self-Love is the foundation for passionate, pleasurable, connected, intimate, rock-your-world Sex.

Self-Love is your natural state. Loving yourself is as simple as knowing you are loved, that you belong here, and that you are magnificent just as you are. Self-Love is feeling the pleasure and vibrancy of being alive, whole, complete, and connected in your body. Self-Love feels good, in an uncomplicated, natural way.

Self-Love is by definition a sexual experience, because the truth is Self and Sex are the same. There is no separation. Really, there isn’t.
Your relationship to yourself is a sexual relationship. There is no separation within your Self and your Sex. Try to separate them.

Go ahead.
They've already been separated... that’s why you are in pain.
Let me help you put yourself back together.

Essential Self-Love

Empowerment through Pleasure

PS. I love finding Nature's reminders that we are wondrously beautiful in all our parts, and that Self-love is a foundation fo Natural Law.

This beautiful vulva was found on a moss covered tree stump at Hope Peace Ceremonies. Photo by me, Diva Carla.

 

Too Hot for Breakfast?

My last two Love Letters published a speech I had written with Rotarians in mind. I thought it was tame, though my Rotary Champion decided it was too hot for Rotary. Read Part 1 and Part 2.

Last week I visited a Women's Entrepreneur Networking group. It was a breakfast meeting. The feedback I received was that some women were offended by the language I used when I spoke about my business. Upon pressing the caller delivering this news, she admitted that the offensive language was the word "Orgasm". I am fairly certain the only time I used that word was in giving my business name, Orgasmic Alchemy.

My short business introduction for women's groups goes something like this: I work with professional women in midlife who are stressed, worried, overwhelmed, frustrated, or heart-broken about relationships and sexuality. When they work with me, they feel relaxed, confident, empowered and in touch with their bodies. As a result they have better relationships, live their life purpose joyfully, make more money, and have better sex.

I have compassion for people who are triggered by the language I use: words like sex, orgasm, even pleasure. I used to be triggered too. Especially the word orgasmic. I once had a friend, now passed on, who used "orgasmic" as a superlative for every happy experience. I hated that quirk. Why? Because the word orgasmic reminded me of the pain and inadequacy I felt in the experience of my own sexuality.

I know too well the pain of feeling like there is something missing at the core of your Soul, and the belief that it's missing because something is wrong with you. You feel like you're missing something that every one else has, or maybe you have too much of something and it's wrong and unacceptable, and you expend a lot of energy controlling your thoughts and feelings. I've felt both kinds of pain. I think I developed feelings of inadequacy and experienced that because the Oh So MUCH I felt as a child was completely unacceptable to the people around me. My long path of healing from this half-life is the reason I do this work of Orgasmic Alchemy today.

So I feel great compassion for the women--and men--who are offended or embarrassed by my work and my speaking out. Hell, I make myself blush sometime. I don't do it for effect. I speak out and say the name of Orgasm because Silence is Deadly. Because I am a healer, and the healing journey is not a comfortable journey. I will go back to that group and speak with them tenderly and truthfully the downside of feeling comfortable.

You see, my work is not about making you feel comfortable. My work is about going with you to the places inside you that you are afraid to look at by yourself.  My role is to hold your hand, or even wrap my arms around you, so you can go to those scary places and make direct contact with your own magnificence. Because that's what lives there: your divine beautiful Self. I help you go there, and stay with you till you come back with the treasure.
There are moments in the transformational journey that are scary like that. The rest is pure pleasure and a lot of fun.

And yes, the people who choose to do healing work with me are courageous, because this is a path into your wild self that must be trekked on foot. You can't look up the directions on Google Maps or use your Garmin. Jet Blue doesn't fly there (but it will fly you to me if you live far away). And you say YES to this expedition ready or not because your subconscious mind will never be ready. Only your courageous heart of desire will be able to guide you onto the path.

NOW is always the right time to choose freedom. It's not always comfortable, but the food is good, and the view is magnificent.

Womb Power Manifesting Teleclass in January

 

Diva Carla Presents

Womb Power Manifesting

 

What was one thing you wanted in 2010, and you didn't get it? 

 Why not?

Are you determined that in 2011 you will no longer be

BROKE

 

Overweight

drowning in clutter

In a crappy marriage

SINGLE

Confused about your life purpose

Then JOIN THIS CLASS TODAY

$127

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and tell your friends about it too.

You are too Brilliant to be anything other than Wealthy!

~Diva Carla

Tap in to your feminine power and pleasure to have all you desire, and be magnificent!

This may be the only manifesting class with fringe benefits--

Better sex!

Really! we are working with the energy, and turning it on and up!

Charting your path from the Source:

When we chart our course from this place, there is no such thing as failure possible. There can only be further flowering, and greater increase than we have imagined, because we are charting from the Source.

~Nut Tmu-Ankh

Clearly and specifically Name your Desire
Discover what's stopping you  

working with the Oracle of the Medicine Wheel Orgasmic Alchemy Style 

(call me to chat about what you want to create in 2011! 207-619-DIVA)

 

To remember that we already know how to do this

It is in our body, our feminine biology, our heart, womb, soul

Claim your place in the Circle Now 

$127

BUY NOW

4 part  teleclass starts first week of January

Class begins Thursday January 6 at 8:00pm Eastern Time.

4 sessions: January 6, 13, 20 and 27.

$127

.Yes, class started. Join now and I'll send you the recording. You'll be ready to dive in with us next Thursday.

Mouse over the gray bar to reveal the arrow and click to listen:

Womb Power and Medicine wheel

 

 

$127

bring a friend for a dollar!

  

Womb Center Goddess by Carla Sanders

Please Share this page with your friends

by email and share on Twitter and Facebook

THANKS!

Bring a friend for $1.00!

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Ready for the Stage!

Yes I am!

Diva Carla has entered a contest called Ready for the Stage! The prize is a chance to speak about my work on stage at the Seven live event, with David Neagle, Suzanne Evans,  Blue Melnick and Bari Baumgardner.

Here is my audition video. I'll keep you posted on my progress to the finals, and how you can support me.

I'd love your comments below! Would you like to see more video? I like making them!

 

The Rapture of Water

Today I completed a commitment to swim in natural water every day in September. Summer in Maine this year was uncharacteristically hot and dry. I enjoyed swimming as I have not in 16 years of living here. On September 5th, after a spectacular swim in Hobbs Pond, I decided that I would swim every day till September 30 in natural water in Maine.

As goals go, it was not particularly challenging or dramatic. The weather held, and it’s been a mild equinox, though the ocean, river, and pond are much colder than they were on Labor Day. When my car was broken I had to walk from my house to Hobbs Pond, down the long hill on Hatchet Mountain, and back up again. I thought it would be hard, but it was a piece of cake, just over a mile one way. I’d have done it more often except I usally swam before or after a trip to town on errands. I swam mostly in Hobbs Pond because it is close to home. I went to Lincolnville Beach an average of once a week, when the weather was sunny, and I could catch the tide right for swimming. Megunticook River off Shirt Tail Point was fun for variety. I visited a friend on China Lake for a good sunset swim, and on a trip down to Brunswick, I swam in the lagoon at Reid State Park. The ocean, lake, and river all had a different energy and feeling. They all have in common they are living, wild water.

Lincolnville Beach

I love the way my body changed over the 26 days. Swimming every day, my body sculpted and stretched and I see and feel muscles in my legs, arms, and torso I haven’t seen since my twenties. I feel better than I have in my whole life. Nothing hurts anywhere. I remember how much I love to swim and be in the water. My swim conditioning makes me want to swim farther and be in the water longer, even as falling temperatures make long swims unwise. I am so comfortable in the water I cavort! I feel otter-like. (The otters roll their eyes at me when they read this.)

It was never about the exercise. It was about doing something I enjoy for as long as I can. It was about being in the water. It became about being with the water.

I realized that I love the water because of touch. The water touches me everywhere. My body hides no secrets from the water. I noticed how different water touches me. The ocean, river, and lake all touch me in a different way. Wind-whipped water has a different hand than placid, smooth water. Cold touches differently than warm, salt than fresh. Morning, afternoon and night water feel different.

Water carries. It lifts. It supports me as I move through it. It makes room for me. I float.
It is easy to swim in the ocean. The ocean, even on a quiet day, is always actively lifting and carrying. One windy day in Hobbs Pond I felt lifted like that. The more relaxed I am the more the water carries me. It touches me all over and carries me.

Megunticook River at Shirt Tail Point

In the waters, I became part of the changing season. I learned the personality of the beach in Lincolnville, the tides, the rocks, plants, and animals. I enjoyed the work of swimming in Megunticook River. It’s a small river, but swimming upriver I felt myself pull against the current. The moving water has a delicious energy. I loved swimming in the colored water as the river reflected the leaves changing color on the banks. I love how available the river is, grateful to the Town of Camden for making a public park access. In  late September, I had it to myself.

I found an affection for Hobbs Pond for the first time in my 16 years in Hope.  I learned its moods, the way the wind whips up its length to the public landing, and how placid it can be in the morning. I felt the colors on Hatchet Mountain and the pond shores change along with the water temperature. I love how swimming out from shore feels exciting and energized, and swimming back in to shore feels a little flat and dull. I’ll meet Hobbs Pond earlier next season. I want to swim to somewhere. I’d like to swim its length.

My description is deliberately simple. It was simple to show up everyday to swim. What is not so simple is the depth of the medicine. Without planning it, I became intimate with water. I became a Mer person. Day after day, it embraced and sustained me through a difficult passage. I felt the rapture of water.

When you commit to something, it becomes a spiritual practice. It took me till today to get that. For the first time in my life, I get that. The beauty of it as that I didn’t have to do anything but swim and enjoy myself everyday to have the spiritual practice.

Giving myself the pleasure of being in the water every day is ALL there is to it. Being with the pleasure is the only thing there is.

Hobbs Pond 8am September 30, 2010

Hope Peace Chamber

Dearest Orgasmic Alchemy fans,

I have not written in the blog for a while because I have been utterly preoccupied with the coming of Hope Peace Chamber.
I've been writing about it in the blog, posting pictures of the model, and preparing for the exuberant musical fund raiser, Awakening Passion, Peace, and Abundance on Tuesday, August 24. 

We are fund raising and preparing to build the first phase this August /September. We  invite you to get involved with us, through donations, sharing the news with your community, and on Social Neworking, and coming to Hope to Chant and help build.

Please visit http://hopepeacechamber.com and hang out there a while to read about the Peace Chamber. It is a significant aspect of our Orgasmic Alchemy mission.

Model of The Peace Chamber

Soon, I'll be back writing here, but for a few more days or weeks. Some of what I am working on for the Peace Chamber fits in this blog too. The energy of the Peace Chamber is Orgasmic Alchemy. There is no separation. Thank you!