"Save IT till you are married!"
and there had better not be any shotguns at the wedding!
That's was my sex education growing up.
I grew up in the Bible Belt in the 60's. I was taught to save sex for marriage, and on my wedding night my husband would – well, something wonderful would happen, and I could find out what it was after I was married. Until then, practical information about my body and about sex was not available. Instead I learned that sex – and my body -- were shameful and sinful.
Propelled by natural curiosity and desire, I decided that the only way I would find out about sex was to just do it, so my senior year of high school I went all the way with my boyfriend.
It was a big disappointment.
Besides feeling guilty and sinful, I did not have the pleasure I was hoping for. I feared there might be something wrong with me.
I went to college during the 70's, the era of free love and women's liberation. I had permission to explore sexually, but shame and guilt do not meet free love gracefully. I tried to be a modern, sexually liberated woman, but sex was a disaster.
I felt inadequate and ashamed, defective in the orgasm department.
After college, I escaped the Bible Belt and ran away to New York City to be an artist, and met my husband. Early in our relationship, it became clear I had a problem. Even though I was multi-orgasmic when self pleasuring, I could not have orgasm with intercourse. My husband and I agreed there was something wrong with me. I accepted the situation because I thought I was defective.
I had no one to talk to. I was so ashamed of myself and my inadequacy. I’d never speak to a therapist or doctor, or reveal my problem to a girlfriend.
Fast forward 20 years to my Fiery 40's – perimenopause, when I was climbing the walls with desire and frustration. I was desperate to have the intimacy, pleasure, and sacred relationship with my husband that I intuitively knew was possible.
It was not just about sex.
I was screaming inside to be fully expressed creatively, spiritually and erotically. I wanted my husband to change with me, to help me, so we could take our relationship and our life together to a new level. I became depressed and felt desperate and hopeless when it wasn't working out. My marriage fell apart.
This was lowest time of my life. Blended with the devastation of divorce was the excitement of being single and free to explore my sexuality-- yet the repressed Southern Baptist Girl inside still ran the show.
I had no idea how to go about dating, and I was afraid to date because I still believed I was defective. I was scared to death that sex would not work. I had no idea how to solve my problem.
My Path to DIVA
In despair I went on a vision quest. I had to heal this pain and shame inside me and fix what I believe to be broken. I could not live like this anymore – sexually unfulfilled, inadequate as a woman, and feeling something very basic was wrong with me.
Within months of my vision quest, I met a priestess of sacred sexuality through my business. I had no idea such a person existed, and when she invited me to step up to Initiation in Sacred Sexuality, I knew I'd been given the next step in my quest.
Through my initiation, I discovered that I was whole, perfect, complete, and normal! I learned about my body, how feminine sexuality works, and more important, about the mysteries of sexual energy as my feminine power source.
As a result of my quest, I found freedom to express and explore my desire, to feel pleasure, and to be orgasmic on my own and with a partner. My life is blessed and nourished by the spiritual and sensual connection to my sexuality. I embrace a life-long adventure into the mystery and power of my own sexuality.
I became Diva Carla. DIVA is a title, an acronym that stands for Divine Intelligence Vulvically Awakened. DIVA is a woman who knows herself through the pleasure and wisdom of her feminine sexuality.
I want this for every woman on the planet!
Now I guide midlife women on their own sacred quest to be sexually alive and connected to the feminine power of their sexuality. I believe that sexual pleasure is every woman's birthright and her inner power source.
It is my mission to help as many women as I can awaken to pleasure and become orgasmic. No one should suffer in shame and silence as I did.
Every woman has this power, and deserves to know the truth – that you are whole, perfect and beautiful just as you are.
Do you desire to discover the feminine power source of your sexuality? Do you want intimacy, pleasure, and the rock-solid knowing that you are perfect and whole as a woman?
You can have it!
I am here for you.