Orgasmic Alchemy

Naked Coffee Friday: a Flower from the Woods

Walking the woods in springtime, tread gently among the dry brown leaves. Drop to the earth and see what's rising underneath them: a wild flower. A tall preacher man standing within the folds of the virgin's gown. Jack in the Pulpit, we call this flower.

In Lovemaking, notice that something new can grow under the dry brown leaves of habit and patterns of behavior. Be willing to feel this first in yourself. With your new, curious eyes, see if there is something new abloom within your partner, too. This one beside you whom you have known for years, so familiar now that you do not see him or her, this one has a flower unseen blooming in the humus of life.

Open your eyes and let all your other senses follow. You are both new creatures every day. Do not trample these new flowers with your habits of perception. Moments of intimacy are the moments these new flowers show up. They may not appear in any other light. 

Watch the ground under the old leaves for the new flowers. They are the signposts to ecstacy.

 

Naked Coffee Friday: Pleasure as Community Service

(this post, along with "God's Desire", combined to make the draft of a talk I composed for the Rotary  Club meeing. As yet, I have not delivered it to them, and I deliver it to you via this blog and my newsletter!)

Have you heard the expression “We are Spiritual Beings having a Physical Experience?” Consider this: We are Spiritual Beings having a Sensual Experience.
We are god made flesh for one reason only: and that is to FEEL!
To feel ourselves, to touch and be touched by life. To inhabit this sensual body that feels so good.  That has capacity for pleasure most of us have never tapped.

We human beings of all the animals, except maybe dolphins, in our consciousness of SELF and OTHER have a sexual relationship to EVERYTHING!

We have a Divine right to feel pleasure and to BE SAFE to feel our connection to one another, to feel natural without the walls, armor, fear, rules, ignorance of Truth.

I can hear you wondering: Sex is nice, sex is GREAT, well, it used to be… but isn’t it optional—except for making babies?
Seriously what does this have to do with the price of eggs or gasoline?

EVERYTHING! Sex is not limited to procreation or even feeling good making nookie. Sex is how we know the profound connection we have with all of LIFE.  Let me explain:

I believe that the root of all that we call Evil is disconnection from our sensual bodies, the ability to feel and know through all our senses that we are all connected. For some reason, in modern times, we've forgotten how to feel. We forget how to Love. Or we do so narrowly, with many conditions place on our feeling and Loving.

When we believe that disconnection is the truth, our loneliness is expressed in war, rape, victimization, competition, lack, struggle. As a society we suffer with PTSD. We see life and the economics of life in terms of winners and losers, and we will suffer any price to win!
Or to be RIGHT.
And we don’t believe we have won unless our feet are on the necks of a loser. It’s sick, and twisted, and oh so unnecessary! 

Even in the little village where I live, we are as likely to go to battle over opinion, values, and stewardship of resources as we are to step back and feel and create our way to a solution that supports more life for all.

We are each of us our own worst enemy. As individuals, we are at war within ourselves. We fight daily--minute by minute--to suppress as wrong, bad, or dangerous the very power of feeling that bring us into Life, and is the creative force we need to solve all our problems.

We grow up learning to stuff our sexual energy into a box, to behave ourselves and be “good”, on pain of very serious consequences. No wonder so many of us suffer with depression, high blood pressure, heart disease, cancer, diabetes and autoimmune disorders. The stress of suppressing our life force is LETHAL!

What if instead of racing around through our day stressed, conflicted, in pain, we intentionally sought out opportunities for pleasure? What if our work, errands, and interactions with clients, customers, coworkers, family were all about pleasure? What if we lived in a community of genuine, authentic pleasure seekers, and pleasure givers?

What if Pleasure were a Community Service?

Can you imagine what that could be like?
Imagine moving through your day FREE to feel?
Free to feel not merely good, but awesome?! Not simply awesome, but turned on?! Free, and big, and wide open for any and every good, delicious, opportunity to feel and share pleasure. No excuses or apologies, at all, because feeling really good, and being turned on is not risky, forbidden, or weird. It’s…. The Way Life Should Be.

You don’t look at other people as competitors or even strangers. You don’t have to get anything from anybody. You already have All you need within You.

As a Spiritual Being having a Sensual Experience you can feel good. Curious about everything that comes your way. You live in Abundance, and complete sufficiency. No separation or loneliness.

You have everything you need within you.
You are confident of your skill, knowledge, smarts, your beauty, your virility,
You know that you are LOVED.

Your life becomes a life of giving and service. You give from the overflow of your fullness, with nothing to prove, only Love to Demonstrate.

The Mind does not understand this truth.
But the Body does. Your Body knows. Your body hungers and thirsts for pleasure and freedom.
And if you are still breathing and getting up for a 7AM Rotary meeting, it is not too late to know yourself as the object and the subject of God’s Desire.

********* 

I hope you are inspired to think that pleasure and sexual energy can have a big impact beyond ourselves.  If this sounds intriguing, but difficult, I assure you, it just takes some training and practice. I can help with that. Please call me at 207-619-DIVA, or email me by replying to this letter, and we'll schedule a complimentary consultation to talk about it.

Naked Coffee Friday: Just Naked

Some Fridays are Naked Coffee Friday, and some Fridays are just Naked. That's what yesterday was all about. Feeling good having a body, without making any demands on the body other than to feel good.

It's a day for celebrating the voluptuousness of Spring in the North: Honeysuckle, seedlings, the Green Explosion of the trees. Blue eyed grass, the first purple Iris, wild strawberries blossoms, the heady fragrance of lilac.

Nothing else is important. Nothing else matters. Soaking up sunshine, warms, colors, sounds, fragrance. Breathing is clear, body relaxed, can't think of anything to worry about if I try.

Today, No Coffee, it is not even Friday anymore, but it's still Nakedly beautiful.

Here's what it looks like where I live today:

 

Naked Coffee Friday: Initiation

Three times in as many days, people have asked me what does initiation mean.

A journey into the Mystery of the Self, guided by the Mystery of Divine, and returning home to Service, having Mastered an aspect of the Mystery.

Initiation is a cycle, not an event, and as a cycle it may repeat through deeper/higher levels of mastery.
Initiation is critical to the life of the people. Two-leggeds must be initiated into the mysteries of Living on Earth, according to the people and the land and the divinities where they live.

The first thing a colonizing force does is forbid and destroy the initiation rites of the invaded people. It's where their power and memory as a people lives.

We are all in our way colonized people, deprived of initiation. It leaves us without the tools to grow into maturity, having been inculcated into the memories of our people and land. We have nothing to bring home, because we never go away on the journey.

Earth demands initiated people to work with her energies and learn her mysteries. She requires it.

Wombn, Enter the Age of Diva. Claim your intitiation and walk through the Temple Doors. The Earth can't wait for you forever!

Share your thoughts on initiation. Have you been initiated? Have you provided it for young people in your life? What would you life be like now if you had  at least been initiated into adulthood?

Naked Coffee Friday: Sacred Matters

I've been thinking about the stillness surrounding the sacred versus the silence surrounding shame.

Yesterday I heard an NPR story that moved me deeply. From the HIdden World of Girls series, a man, Chris Abani, told his mother's story. She was an English woman married to a Nigerian man, living in Nigeria. You can read or listen to the story "A Woman's Mission: To Teach Birth Control in Nigeria"

Chris's Mother was a Catholic. She wanted to help women learn about birth control but as a Catholic could not teach condom use. So she wanted to teach women about natural methods. She enlisted her 8 year old son, Chris, as translator, traveling the countryside visiting with women. Chris Abani tells how he greeted the women, apologizing because he had to talk to them about the most sacred things, which were taboo to speak aloud. If they didn't want to talk to him, he would understand. He would ask them if they were on their "Holy Period."

This is not about Shame, but about Sacredness. Oh my goddess, if only I had been taught as a girl that my blood was holy. This culture shames us about our bodies and sexuality, our most sacred union with divine and thus with nature and all other creatures. It is a double affront that our sacred life force desire is used to manipulate us to buy things and do things that hurt us and the earth.

  

Because of the need for healing individually and as a society, I speak out loud about sex, in art, word, and deed. I believe it is necessary to bring about healing and a restoration of naturalness. Yet sometimes I wonder.

My question for myself, and I am also asking you, am I breaking taboo? Are those of us who speak out loud and teach about sexuality openly, publicly, corrupting the sacred? 

I think I know the answer for me. Mysteries are revered and cloaked in stillness, and they are also celebrated in a display of sacred bawdiness. I am tilted toward the bawdy to aid in transforming the silence of shame into the stillness of the sacred.

In another generation, I hope the initiations will be restored and people can be natural with their sacred sexuality once more.

Naked Coffee Friday: Betrayal

Tonight Nut Tmu-Ankh is offering the final Bliss Now: Orgasmic Relationships teleclass. Yes, I am plugging the class tonight, and the recorded series. It's incredible work, whether you are single or partnered.

The matter tonight is Secrets, Privacy, and Lies: Healing Betrayal. At the Orgasmic Living community, Nut has posted provocative questions and I haven't been able to answer them! This topic stymies me. 

So I bring it here for you to help me. Jealousy, betrayal, lying, secrets, privacy, possessiveness. It's as bad as it gets. Maybe you'd rather have your coffee somewhere else than talk about this subject today. But I hope you hang around.

When I was young I loved someone, the first time I felt the power and possibility of love--and sex.
I was ill prepared for any of it, blown completely off center by what I was experiencing. I lost myself in love, and in this other person. When he left me for someone else, it was beyond horrible. I did get over it, but it took 30 years! I tried never to inflict that kind of pain on someone, or be on the receiving end of it. But it happened anyway.

Nut Tmu-Ankh says this: BlissTip: property values have no place in our bonds of Love ☥

and "A love grudge can rob you blind, broke & Bliss-starved. You deserve so much more."

What is it about betrayal-- the rage and the pain-- that brings out more feeling of love? Is this love or ownership?  Why would we rather suffer than forgive? What make it so hard to move on if that 's the answer?

Are we wired for betrayal, on either side of the fence? Is monogamy a futile idea, or the result of a market ing campaign?  How does love among more than two people work? Which is our natural species tendency?

Come on, you must have opinions, beliefs, and experience around this topic.

What do you have to say for yourself?

Naked Coffee Friday: Fresh roast

 Did you think I'd forgotten Naked Coffee Friday? Never! I did have to run out and find some fresh roast today. My son is a coffee roaster and he taught me the basics of coffee: You want to make the coffee within a week of roasting. After 4 days most of the oxygen has gassed off the roasted bean and after a week, the coffee is dead. Your fresh roast beans need to be ground barely minutes before you brew them. The water should be just a couple degrees before boiling. Both the bean and the water need oxygen to release the flavor of the coffee! When you brew fresh ground coffee in a French press, chemex, or Aeropress, you will see the oxygen foam rise to the stop of the pot. If you don't see that, it's dead coffee. Dump it!

That's a little coffee tutorial. If you ever have really fresh roast coffee made right, you'll be spoiled for life. It's a mixed blessing, but worth it for the sensual wonder and pure pleasure of a magnificent cup of coffee.

So please,dear friends, share with me the details of one of your favorite sensual pleasures, and how to do it your way! It might be about food or cooking or dancing, or love making. Teach me something new!

Naked Coffee Friday: contemplating fear and desire

Initiation is long spiraling journey into one's Self. Certain key truths reappear periodically, until their force accumulates and dissolves my stubborness, or their Light makes my blindness a Lie. This week the One Who Loves Me is showing me Fear and Desire. Again.

These intimates walk together inside of me. They speak to me in similar language, using the same parts of my body, and the same hormones, bloodstream, heartbeat, breath. Sometimes they sound alike, and it's hard to tell which one is speaking. Because of my conditioning, both evolutionary and cultural, Fear's voice often drowns out Desire. Fear is the one who gets my attention.

Fear is a clever shape shifter, making phantoms and shadows appear real. Fear is seductive, whispering vile falsehoods and making them sound true. Fear is treacherous, and will persuade me to kill my Desire, as the cause of my misery.

My Desire is always present behind the deceit of Fear. Desire is the Goddess singing an invitation to Life. She is sensual, enticing me to taste, touch, and create. She is courageous, fortifying me to risk everything to be embraced by her. Desire soothes and pets the dark hound of fear to sleep. Or sometimes she'll fling her arm around Fear's shoulders and let it ride shotgun as she tools around the countryside in her convertible, scandalizing the locals.

Desire and Fear are traveling companions. The only way to make the relationship work is to feed Desire so she's strong enough to subdue fear.

How do you feed your Desire? I fed her by writing about her in these wakeful wee hours of the morning. What kind of attention is your Desire craving right now?

That question will keep us here for a cup of coffee or two.

Naked Coffee Friday: Say Vagina

Through the miracle of Twitter, I found this blog post by Dr. Lissa Rankin, at her OWNING PINK blog:

WHAT? We can't say Vagina?

I knew right then I was inviting her to Naked Coffee Friday! The comments at Dr. Lissa's blog and the comments when I shared her post on facebook reveal lots of feelings people have about the word Vagina. One of the most poignant came from somewhere (can't find it now) on Dr. Lissa's blog or from her book, What's Up Down There? A woman maintains that "that word" is only for her husband to use.

Divas, we own our bodies, our sex, our virginity, our desire, our orgasm, and all the words to name and describe them. Let us free our voices and tongues and along with Dr. Lissa and all the wombn of the world, say it out loud!

VAGINA!

The Naked Coffee Friday chant is I have a Vagina and I'm proud! Oooh! that feels GOOD!

Sing it out in the comments. (Kings, your voices are welcome to harmonize.)

You can celebrate your Vagina and her Vulva court with words, art, and ceremony, with a Vulva Portrait Ritual Bowl.

Naked Coffee Friday: Orgasm

What is it?

What is it to you?

I love Dr. Beverly Whipple's definition from the ASEP conference

(referring to woman's orgasm)

"It's what she says it is."

Which leaves one wondering: What's a man's orgasm?

How many different kinds of orgasms have you experienced?

Have you ever had an orgasm without any kind of sexual stimulation, one that didn't even happen in your body?

What is orgasm?