Find the Jewel in Shame


A month ago on the longest night of the year, I took a walk as dusk began to enfold the woods. The message came:



I know you don't want to read about shame. I am commanded to write it, by the Goddess who adores you and calls you to her!

Shame doesn't want me to write this article, which I started a month ago!

This will be worth it so stay with me.

I've done some radical shame healing on my diva path. I still work with it deliberately, consciously, because one thing I've learned:

If there is something I am NOT MANIFESTING, I have SHAME hooked into it.

Shame is at the root of your wounds, and your disempowering beliefs and behaviors.



It lies to you. It is a master of disguise, camouflage, and shape-shifting. It pulls things into the shadows. It sneaks around wearing an invisibility cloak.

It has tentacles, hooks, and many heads like a hydra.

Shame does NOT want you to SEE it! And it will go to extremes to stop you from being SEEN. It will keep you from showing up, shining your light, being visible and powerful!

If you go after the source of shame it will redirect you to work on a different issue, while it morphs into something unfamiliar and hides under a rock.

How do you go about healing shame when it is so slippery?

How do you find the Jewel in shame?

You make friends with it.
You shine a light on it.
You get naked with it.

Feed yourself MASSIVE DOSES OF COMPASSION in the places where you trigger shame.

Comes the day you reach your hand through that shadowy veil, you reach right through the shame and grab the jewel and the power on the other side.

You neutralize shame with your STRENGTH.

You make your SHAME SMALL AND YOURSELF BIG. This takes away its power.

This is rarely done in an instant, though it may feel like that. Sometimes shame hides and hides and you don't know what is wrong and why nothing works. Then one day, you see that slippery shadow slide under a rock and you say GOTCHA! And you walk right through like a miracle.

Sometimes you throw yourself against the problem till you are bruised and bleeding, and you keep chasing the shame, and trying to fix it, and one day, shame wears itself out. It steps aside and lets you pass into your power and glory.


Jewel in shame herk1


It is time to deal with the shame that keeps YOU, your desires, and your gifts in the shadows.

Why does this matter so much?

It matters because Shame keeps a fundamental, powerful, expressive part of YOU in hiding.

If you are hiding you are not available for intimacy. Into-me-see. You cannot let yourself be SEEN.

Sex requires intimacy with your beloved. Wealth requires intimacy with the world at large. Voice is Visibility. All these layers of intimacy have an external and internal component.

Shame kills intimacy. It AVOIDS intimacy.

Its function is to hide things you are terrified others will find out about you. It is often behind the unconscious triggers that get flipped on when you try to achieve higher, or grow in a new direction, or interact with people in a new way.

Shame can strike anywhere. Its favorite playgrounds are sex, food, and money.

You know those BLOCKS people always talk about? When you feel blocked, look for SECRET SHAME.

Entrepreneurs come up against secret shame in business when it is time to be visible, make sales, declare your value, make a stand, take a risk, or make an investment.

If you are resisting, feeling stuck, avoiding something, or in denial, look for shame.

It will stop your manifesting in its tracks, no matter what tools and magick you have.

You have to reach into the Shame to grasp the Jewel in order for your magick to work.

How do you find the jewel in Shame?

Shame doesn't ever want to be OUTED. You don't challenge it to a duel, or demand it come out with its hands up! You don't shine a bright light on it. You can't shame SHAME.

You have to become stronger and bigger than your shame. The only way to do that is through Love and Compassion.

You Love shame into the Light, gently, compassionately, relentlessly.

Jewel in shame

The day I started to write about Shame, it seemed like everybody on Facebook was writing about Shame too. My astrologer started talking about it, and mentioned Mars conjunct Nessus. It made sense that in the time between Winter Solstice and New Years, shame was front and center in everyone's mind.

In some Facebook groups people were encouraged to “show courage and declare their shame,” to bring it into the light.

I do not advocate that approach.

There may come a time when that is exactly what you have to do, but it happens after you've grasped the Jewel, not before. You need to feel safe and strong and accepted – no matter what – to name your shame.

If you try to out your shame without doing the necessary work to befriend it first, it will slip and slide and grow tentacles and hooks and dig in deeper somewhere else.

So I won't ask you to do that.

I do invite you to begin to notice shame in the privacy of your own thoughts and journal.

-- Start ferreting out shame.
-- Look at where you are hurting and poke around.
-- Catch its slippery shadow out of the corner of your eye.
-- See what rock it crawls under.

Become aware of what makes you stop, and dare yourself to see the shame behind it.

Remember that Shame is a LIE, and it is an ILLUSION. You may have built your identity around the LIES of shame.

It matters that you approach healing shame with utmost respect, compassion, and support.

This process may not be easy or quick. There may be a lot of detective work to do. You may have to heal your way to the feeling of strength that will let you face your shame triumphantly.

If your experience is anything like mine has been, this might hurt a lot. I promise you it is worth it.

It is not something you do alone. I didn't do my shame work alone. Over the years I had a priestess, a circle, coaches, therapists, Tarot experts, medicine sisters, ceremony, Spirit Guides, and the Earth Herself to help me. I needed them all.

Depending on where you are in your journey, you may need a lot of support. Or you may simply need to make a decision and take that ONE defining step toward the truth inside you.

In the end, you stand tall and strong, reach your hand into the shadow, and grasp the Jewel. The Jewel is your gift, your mightiness, your invincibility.

It is the magickal tool that will bring you that which you desire, and empower to give back to life that which you came to be.

Your Jewel gives you the courage and the energy to declare your dream and do the work your dream requires.

Your Jewel is uniquely YOURS. 

Do you want support to release the hold Shame has on you? Do you want someone who has your back as you GROW YOURSELF bigger than these old wounds that run your life? Do you want to learn how to grasp your Jewel and bring it into the light?

Book a complimentary 30 minute private consultation to discuss how you can take steps to break the bonds of shame and find your own Jewel.

Select a time in my online calendar here:

I desire your freedom from shame! Do you?




I was surprised to see the words I AM RICH AND FAMOUS appear in my journal this week. It triggered me, especially since I am working to live in partnership with nature more effectively. I felt the conflict.

I was raised to be humble and modest. That translates as poor and invisible! It was the deal I made with my ancestors as a child, and has been one of the prime movers of my life's healing Journey.

As a child I was shy, smart, bookish, solitary, aloof. Yet I envied the “stars” in my class! The dancers, guitar players, and performers!

I wanted to be on stage too – admired, desired, and applauded for my talent. My forays into the limelight freaked me out so that I withdrew even deeper into books and nature. My gifts seem to breed solitude: art, writing, and spiritual passion!

When I AM RICH AND FAMOUS shows up as a desire in my cronehood, I embrace it with curiosity. What is this message? Why?

Rich and famous


I believe we get to define our terms. I get to choose what rich and famous means to me

FAMOUS means well known and respected by my peers and colleagues for the wisdom, healing, and creative energy I express. It means being sought by people who would learn from me, who are healers, creators, and wisdom teachers themselves.

FAMOUS means having an impact to change lives for the better, to inspire other's greatness. This is a gift I have had all my life; it is why I came to Earth. (I think I am OK with letting my students be the FAMOUS ones!)

FAMOUS mean being RADIANTLY VISIBLE with my message and in service! To fail to do so would be an insult to Spirit and an abuse of the gifts I've been given to share.

Will I ever be a household name, have my privacy threatened? Go viral on Facebook or Twitter?

Will I be world-FAMOUS? Do I even WANT that?

(Here's a story: I live in a coastal community in Maine. I used to sell advertising for the local newspaper and one of my clients was the art supply store. Gino the manager made me a name tag – The World-famous Carla Sanders. He would see me in town and shout across the street Hello! it's the world-famous Carla Sanders! I loved it! )


Wealth has many currencies. We are all wealthy when we live in grateful reciprocity with nature.

RICH means money. It is often associated with luxurious and excessive consumption. This is appalling to me, and yet, I live richly by most standards. My footprint on the Earth is bigger than I want it to be. I don't know which of my luxuries I would part with. A car, a refrigerator full of food, running water, internet?
(Yep, most of what we think are necessities are luxuries.)

RICH mean to me that I am a vortex of money energy that flows and makes things happen. In addition to being wealthy in all the things that make life worth living, RICH means being able to generate sufficent amouts of money for my desires and intentions.

I am meant to be a PHILANTHROPIST as a way of fulfilling my purpose. My purpose is to remind people of their sacred relationship with nature. There are many people already doing well the work that I believe in. I would help them expand their reach and effectiveness with financial support.

What is more, the direct work I do as a wisdom teacher is much more effective if I am financially free and my financial house is in order.

Many teachers I follow make this stand: “It is time for spiritual people to be rich!” – especially women. I stand with them.

To spiritual people who believe money is tainted by a corrupt economic system, I say: Let the money flow through you and be purified! Free yourself from debilitating, mission-killing struggle by being a channel for money. You have the privilege and responsibility to direct all your energy, including money, in accordance with your values and the highest good for all life!

That's what I mean by RICH. Stop hating money, and start liking it. Let it flow to and through you.

My idea of RICH AND FAMOUS may be very different from the Rich and Famous seen in the tabloids and TV. Yet my unconscious objections to those ideas have the power to undermine my values of freedom, service, abundance and expression for myself and all people.

Do my words serve anyone hidden on a blog no one reads, or a journal moldering on the shelf? What is the impact of my art when it gathers dust in the silent studio?

Is this modesty or blaspheny?

Best to get all that out in the open!

I AM RICH AND FAMOUS. These words and image become a sigil -- a way of communicating with my unconscious mind to reveal its secrets. I can play with the dynamic tension between the authentic desire and the shadow beliefs that pinch off the desire. I am free to make powerful choices to live my purpose – reminding people of their intimate relationship with self, one another, and the earth.

This is my growth process. I am gratified if it also illuminates yours.

#richandfamous #radiantly visible


The Sacred Womb Gives Birth to Christ Consciousness

Black madonna pregant

Blessings and joy in this sacred time of year!

In the Northern Hemisphere, we have just celebrated the Winter Solstice, honoring the darkness of the longest night, and celebrating the return of the Light. Now we are celebrating Christmas.

The Christmas season commemorates the birth of a Child, and the Child is the center of ritual.

But the Story of Christmas is really a story of the Womb of the Divine Feminine. The Sacred Womb that gives birth to a Holy Child is a story older than Christianity. Mother Mary and her son Jesus belong to a long history of Goddesses who give miraculous birth to a Son who will change the world.

Christianity chose to negate the sexual power of the Feminine by making its Holy Mother a Virgin, who "had no sin". 

We know the truth: The Sacred Birth is the culmination of the Sacred Sexual Power of the Goddess and the God in Holy Union.

The truth is embedded in Nature and our own bodies. It is time to remember.

The Dark Night of the Winter Solstice is pregnant with the Light of the returning Sun.

The Full Moon gives birth to the manifest intentions we planted at the New Moon.

All mothers give birth to holy children with the power to change the world!

Galaxy Birth by Carla Sanders

Whatever spiritual traditions and symbols you cherish, when you hear songs of the Holy Infant, remember the Womb that carried the baby, and served as portal between the worlds for the Child to come to this time and space.

We all came here through a holy womb.


~ this Sacred Womb that is always carrying us, always birthing us, and through which we give birth to all that we make ~ Children, Art, Healing, Food, Peace.

As you enjoy the lights this holiday season, remember where you come from and honor her Darkness and Her Light: the Womb of the Divine Feminine.

I wish you a joyful day of celebration and connection to the eternal power of LOVE!

Ice drop plain

May the Light be with YOU!





The Part of You that Hurts the Most ...


Carla is 7The part of you that hurts the most is the strongest part.

I am talking about your inner child who throws tantrums when you try to heal your wounds and change your life.


This is what some spiritual teachers recommend. I tried that and my inner five year old raged that I would dismiss her and patronize her that way!

It is a waste of her power -- and she will fight you!


Get to know this young diva very well. Understand what she wants for herself (YOU).

Recognize how powerful she is in doing whatever she must to get her (your) needs met.

Enlist her STRENGTH in your healing.

Consult her as you grow. Keep her informed about what you are doing and why you want to do it.

YOUR JOURNAL is your tool for communicating with her. She will respond. Let this dialogue unfold over time.

Honor and respect her POWER. Express GRATITUDE for all the ways she has taken care of you with her childlike understanding of the facts.

As you ready yourself to LEAP FORWARD, cradle your inner child in your arms. Let her feel how you are both held together in the arms of the Divine Universe!

Tell her stories of how wonderful it is where you are going together. Explain your desires in terms she can understand at her age. (This is probably the age you were when she made her decision to protect you at all costs.)


This is work I can help you do.

Let's have a conversation about how you want to reclaim your Divine Feminine Power, and how to get your INNER FIVE YEAR OLD on your side so you can BE, DO, AND HAVE WHAT YOU DESIRE. 


Click HERE to book a time on my calendar --  

Surprise Reason Women Need Sexual Healing

Rose PlatterTonight I was washing the china I'll use on my Thanksgiving table, (see photo below) and the Goddess starts talking up a storm. 

I shared her message in my Facebook group Sexy Wealthy Divas, and the conversation is rich. 
Some women are not that interested in sex. They are not looking for a better sex life or a partner, or self-pleasure. They are fine with having low libido, low interest, or low passion in their physical sex life. 

It has always bothered me a little that my message might be shaming to women who have less interest, or are completely happy channeling their sexual energy into other forms. 

Women who feel that way are fine, not broken, and may not be in my tribe. They don't want sexual healing and don't feel a need for it.

This evening while giving my bone china a bubble bath, I heard the Goddess whisper in my ear.

"Women don't need sexual healing to improve their sex life. They need it to clear and liberate their energy!"

Duh. I knew that!

It is the unhappy fact that human beings - female, male, and anywhere on the spectrum -- who are born and raised in this Puritan, patriarchal culture have sexual healing to do. 

If a person is content and happy with their current sex life, even if it is celibacy, they may not find themselves on my list or in my world. 

But I got a nudge from the Goddess this evening that more of them are coming.

Sexual healing will reveal to them their Soul's purpose, and free them from secret pain and shame they've been carrying. 

People with wombs will want to access their womb oracle. 

People with histories of repression or abuse want to forgive, release, and reclaim. 

These beautiful people may learn the joys of "orgasmic celibacy". They may decide to become more actively physically sexual. They may come out as "ecosexual."

Sexual energy is your life force that is the Divine channel running through you. It is your access to deep Self, and your open circuit to Divine. It is the communication channel of your Soul. 

And it makes being in a human body really fun!

For more teachings on sexual energy, wealth, and the manifesting power of your voice -- the three Sacred Feminine Powers, join Sexy Wealthy Divas on Facebook! You will be welcome in our community. 


Join Sexy Wealthy Divas Now

There is an Antidote to the Feminine Wound!


I work with women who desire to change the world.

It sounds like a lot of work for women who are already burdened by the Feminine Wound!

Yet compassion and nurture are qualities of the feminine that many women embody. We want the world to be a safe, healthy, and loving place.


The beautiful thing is that we do not have to take on the entire globe and billions of people. When we embrace personal change in ourselves, the world changes with us.

We grow into the Goddess, the Queen, the Woman we are meant to be.

This maturation and evolution into Feminine Wisdom and Power is a natural process. Even so, we need guidance through the changes.

For years I have been teaching women about their power, giving attention to sexual healing as a necessary first step for so many. Sexual healing means cultivating full-bodied appreciation, acceptance, and expression of our feminine sexuality.

It is the front porch of the Temple of your own life. It is the portal.

When your body, womb, and pleasure are numbed out, discounted, set aside, or buried under trauma or frustration, you cannot live in your feminine power.

Sexual healing and knowledge is about women reclaiming, knowing, and owning their Divine Feminine Power out in the world.

And Sexual healing is only one facet of reclaiming your Divine Feminine Power. It is the inner work of your power.

Your energy communicates with the outer world in a perpetual act of co-creation. These two facets of the jewel are Wealth and Voice.

Study this power symbol I created to illustrate the three essential expressions of Feminine Power.


The Foundations of Sacred Feminine Power

SEX: Your Inner Power Source
WEALTH: Your Heart's Outer Expressions
VOICE: Your Manifesting Power

These are all areas where many women need healing, or re-alignment, in order to thrive and be fulfilled.

You can start at any corner, AND you need to address ALL THREE and allow them to work together. They are perspectives through which to view a woman's Divine Feminine Power.

At the Center you see the golden circle I named Orgasm. Orgasmic Energy is the never ending flow of Divine Feminine Power moving through you, AS YOU.

It is joyous, jubilant, triumphant, enlivening, and inspiring.

With Orgasmic energy we create, heal, change, love, and pray.

Watch your email right after the New Moon for an invitation to experience how Sex, Wealth, and Voice weave together with orgasmic energy to be the Foundations of Sacred Feminine Power.

Join the community of Sexy Wealthy Divas who are on the path... because the Divine Feminine is calling!

Reclaim your Power from the Power GRAB

Trigger alert: I am going to share my thoughts about topics in the news this past week. I am not making any political statements with this article. I am making a cultural observation that directly relates to my professional work as an elder who heals and empowers women.  Listen to what I am saying about the world we live in. 


This week's article is not pretty, but it is powerful, and it is an opportunity that women and men must seize! Thanks to the political campaign being waged in the United States, misogyny and sexual assault are in the news.

This is a good thing. It is high time we trained a spotlight on how pervasive and insidious sexual assault, predation, and threat are in this country, and what it costs women.

The recent cases of convicted rapists getting suspended sentences, or football team and frat house gang rapes brought attention to “rape culture”. Yet these incidents have not made as big an impression on the public as this:

A presidential candidate caught bragging about his pattern of sexual assault.

When the news broke, author Kelli Oxford asked her twitter followers to post their first sexual assault. In 7 days over 10 million women posted. 

10 million women, and MORE! Every single one of us has a story. Something has happened to us all.

And we are a force to be fucking reckoned with! Together we have power! And we are going to need it.

Because there is more.

The candidate in question “apologized” by saying the accusations against him are a distraction from the real issues.

NO!  This is NOT a distraction from the issues – it IS the issue!

Misogyny, sexism, and normalization of sexual violence stand right alongside racism as the root of the important “issues”:
economic injustice, crime, destruction of our planetary environment, and wars among nations.

You cannot fix those problems without fixing misogyny and racism.

Sexual assault is the biggest POWER GRAB tool of the patriarchy. Rape has long been a strategy of warfare and conquest. The idea that white men must possess and protect “our women” has been the biggest single excuse for disempowering and murdering men of color.

And there is still more –

Women and some men report feeling post-trauma stress symptoms after watching the debate on Sunday. I did not watch it, because after watching the debate two weeks earlier, I had PTSD. It was the start of my meltdown.

When this candidate and his followers insult, threaten, stalk, and verbally abuse the WOMAN who is running for President as his opponent, we hear him saying to us, the female citizens of the world:


The implication is –

What I can say and do to her, I will say and do to you.

This isn't new. Insidious terrorism – scapegoating a visible target –  is a power and control strategy employed by abusers, bullies, and tyrants for all time.

We women recognize it because we have been tolerating it in a culture where this behavior is considered normal and is rewarded.

And we are not taking it anymore.

This is isn't about voting in the election, or who occupies the White House or Congress, or Parliament or governing bodies worldwide.

Who wins the election in November won't change this culture.


This issue of rape culture and its consequences must not go back to sleep. Women and men will take action and make a stand.

When I trained in Earth Activism with StarHawk a few years ago, I figured I'd never be on the front lines of an action. I am not the marching and demonstrating type.

Yet I can see myself joining with 10,000,000 women and marching. I WILL.

And Men! I know there are men reading this newsletter. I know you are a defender and protector of women in the way the indigenous elders teach. I know you are men that author Jeff Brown calls forth – men who will stand with women and not let us fight our battle for justice alone.

Women fight, and when we fight, we fight for our freedom, and we also fight that the children be fed, that wars cease, that people have opportunity and access to the resources they need to follow the opportunity.

Men, stand with us. We need your strong sword arm on our side!

The Divine Feminine is coming. We hear her calling. She calls women to power.

She teaches us to build the foundations of our feminine power through Sex, Wealth, and Voice.

Prepare yourself to receive her guidance for your life with a Womb History VIP intensive.

Your Voice is Necessary.


Why Does Money Hurt?

MONEY is the area of wealth where most women get jammed.

Because Money is a serious pain point even for wealthy divas, we'll be talking a lot about Money in Sexy Wealthy Divas.



Money Hurt

I'm unloading some truth bombs. Look out!

$$ --Remember those 1940s movies, and even “I Love Lucy”, where a woman was not supposed to worry her pretty little head about money, business, finances, and economics?
Money was the domain of men!

My mother was the smart one with money who kept the books for all the family businesses. She did not teach me how to do this. Why not?

$$-- Patriarchy – A few thousand years ago, women were chattel, and wives and children were considered part of the wealth and property of men. BOGUS!

This stuff is OLD, and only recently have laws and beliefs have changed on the surface. But it is still encoded in the collective unconsciousness of the culture and many men and women. It is something we are constantly pushing against even when our consciousness knows better.

$$ -- Money is widely thought to be the domain of the corrupt SYSTEM, as in government, corporations, big banks, and taxes. That makes it EVIL and stained. The RICH are evil. It is a them against US mentality.

YES, I agree that the economic system is broken, skewed to the benefit of a few, and causes suffering for the many...


Does opting out of the system, resenting the rich, and struggling with money, do ONE blessed thing to change the system?

Money isn't the problem, the rules are the problem.

*** Put more money in the hands of genuinely spiritual WOMEN with earth-and people- loving values and watch the rules change!

$$ -- What is this strange collective guilt over the injustice over the genuinely poor and starving people of the planet? Tell me, how does your struggle with money feed a single child in a refugee camp drought stricken village, or inner city shelter?

$$ -- Religion and spiritual systems of all flavors mess with our heads about money. Either we ought not to love material things of this world and store up treasures in heaven, and be righteously poor and content about it –


We are supposed to get rich as a sign of righteousness because God blesses the righteous with riches, and the sinners, well they are starving in a desert somewhere...


Let's close this rant with

$$ -- We are all sinners, unworthy of good things.

That is not what the scriptures teach, yet that is the message that gets planted in our psyches.

So many women caught the unworthiness bug while they were growing up.

I don't fucking get it, and I am mad as hell about it.


It lives right in your womb along with your sexual wounding.

I can help you.  

It starts with an VIP Womb Interview Program that will uncover the roots of your pain around both sex and money. From there, you'll discover how to heal them and move forward. 

Book a conversation with me and we'll get you started on the process.