Orgasmic Alchemy

The Bliss Path - Raw Gratitude and Self-Love

Stars set and the sun rises over new fallen snow on this New Moon day, Thanksgiving Day in the United States. Today is a national holiday of gathering, family, feasting, and dedicated gratitude for all our blessings and good fortune.

Horn of Plenty                             © Joseph Rael

My family is far away. I will be joining a crew of friends and strangers (making new friends) for feasting today. I greet the prospect of this day with anticipation of pleasure. This was a decision I made a few days ago, to choose pleasure.

The trip through the portal of 11/11 was a squeeze for me. Throughout the past two new moons, I’ve been shedding beliefs, feelings, illusions, delusions, habits and objects that no longer serve me. It got really personal when I got sick this month, a strange malady that left me feeling oddly hollowed out.

This week, my son announced he could not get away to visit for this holiday. And this morning I awoke to the sound of a waterfall in the basement, and no hot water, at least, not in the pipes!

I made a decision on Monday about how I wanted to feel this Thanksgiving and Christmas. I want to feel grateful, happy, and full of love for myself and other people. Leaky plumbing is not enough to shake that decision.  Am I a freaking saint?

“We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.”― Anaïs Nin
I’ve been pondering  the wisdom of Sister Anaïs for a few weeks now. What does it mean that I see people, situations, circumstances as I am? Is it true that all of that out there is a mirror reflecting back to me what I am in HERE?

Mentally I subscribe to the idea that I create my own reality, in physical form as well as in a perceptual emotional way. What is sinking into my body and being these moons is that I can create my world from the power of Self--Love. It is the only power I have from which to make conscious choice.

I’m not talking about looking at the bright side of trouble, or being thankful for the simple joys and blessings in the midst of a flooded basement or a real tragedy.

I am talking about the Bliss Path. Joseph Campbell says the Bliss Path is a deep path. Once again, I am waking up to the truth that the path I am on is the Bliss Path. And you -- and every other person and circumstance--are on my Bliss Path with me.

Self-love is acceptance and appreciation of my divine perfection even while my messes pile up around me. My so-called screw ups, disappointments, resentments, mistakes, making shit up, wrong choices, and just plain dumb moves are all steps on my Bliss Path.
The way to see the path through the rubble is RAW GRATITUDE.

FEEL grateful for everything.
E V E R Y T H I N G.
Yes, Everything!
Feel it till you weep, and then you laugh to keep from crying.
Crygasms and laughgasms, and gratitude-gasms.
RAW Gratitude-gasms.
And that is Diva Carla’s Thanksgiving Day (and everyday) wish for you:

that you will pause and feel grateful for the very worst thing that is happening in your life right now. Sit with your own loving Self and express thanksgiving for the disaster, the fearful situation, the loss, the mistake, the fight, the scarcity, the pain and suffering, the struggle, the unanswered question, the depression--
as well as your joy, your dance, your feast!

For this is your Deep Bliss Path.
And I love you for it.

See yourself as I see you, Sunshine.


One of the blessings of this week has been to actively join Diva Mama Nut TmuAnkh in her Operation Liberation Mission to support women recovering from domestic abuse and sexual assault as well as incarcerated men and women. Many of our brothers and sisters have chosen Bliss Paths that lead through dark shadows indeed. Read more about Operation Liberation and Hold these people in your blessing today. Make a gift now or in the future if you feel so moved.

And please visit My Thanksgiving Gift Page for two yummy downloads that will garnish your Thursday, holiday or not, like whipped cream on pumpkin pie.

With Pleasure,
Diva Carla



Are You Wishing for a Better Sex Life Someday?

Have you been waiting to work with Diva Carla?

Waiting for you life to get better?

Waiting for Love to knock on your door, or bowl you over?

Waiting to be good enough, rich enough, tough enough?

Wait no longer.

Decide to change your love life NOW, and see what magic happens in your life as a result!

Are you a man who has had prostate surgery or other prostate problems? Then you definitely want to call me.

Are you a woman who is going through menopause and your sexuality is all over the map? Please call me, I can help.

I can help you with secrets you'll doctor will never tell you, because your doctor doesn't know!



Diva Carla's Mother's Day Message

MerQueenToday is Mother's Day in the United States. I am fortunate to be visiting with my older son, daughter-in-law and three grandchildren, who live on the other side of the continent from me. We won't give much more than lip-service to the sentimental view of Mother's Day promoted by the consumer industry. Rather, my mission in Or,gasmic Alchemy has much more in common with Julia Ward Howe's Proclamation for a National Mother's Day of Peace over 140 years ago.

Diva Carla's Mothers Day Proclamation
So that Peace and true Prosperity be available to every child of all species upon the planet Earth:
Let Women around the world gather in Circle in your own community,
affirming the Divine Sisterhood of all women everywhere,
affirming the presence and reality of the Cosmic Circle of Women,
giving birth to new life, to health, to wholeness, to wealth
Each woman supported in Circle, Or,gasmically liberated and empowered
having full voice and expression of her own erotic power and pleasure,
Joyously expressed in her sexual life, her birth choices, in the care and feeding of her (our) children
in the pleasure of her relationships, in the wealth of her community,
in the purity and fertility of the Earth upon which all Life depends.

And Let the Men embrace the women of your own communities
of this worldwide Circle of Women
surrounding them with protection and intention,
Affirming the Universal and Erotic Love and Desire
that Divine Masculine bestows upon the Goddess,
Each Man on fire with the power of his imagination,
the adoration of his sexuality, secure in his own knowing
of his free flowing erotic power to seed life and creation in all its forms.
Let the Men embracing this Circle of Women
know each one himself as Lover and husband to Divine Feminine,
Tender, loving father of all the Children upon the planet, 
Committed in vigorous defense of the well-being of all children of all species
for all generations to come.

That by the Union of Divine Feminine and Masculine Wisdom, Creativity and Power
Embodied in orgasmically free, sexually fulfilled and empowered women and men,
Life upon our planet shall be nurtured and renewed,
And Earth shall be loved and honored as Mother, Lover, Home
for us and all our Children until Seven generations.
~Diva Carla

Painting is MerQueen, Mother of the Universe ©2006 Carla Sanders, acrylic and mica on canvas 48 x 24 inches

A Question about Men

On the Feminine Magik call for women last week, we fielded lots of questions about women’s sexuality and experience of relationship. Women also asked about men’s sexuality. Probing the mystery of our differences is a powerful desire for us Divas.

A woman asked this question about male sexuality, and I think men will be interested to hear the answer too.

Does ejaculation deplete a man’s life force?

Life force is an infinite resource that cannot be depleted. The capacity to tap into life force may become diminished, impaired, or cease (death). Modern life is full of toxins that interfere with the flow of Life Force Golden Cock crenergy: stress, poor health, environmental toxins, toxic relationships, trauma, toxic beliefs about sexuality, low self-esteem. Any work you do to enhance your sexual energy requires that you look at everything that’s going on in your life.

This question of ejaculation depleting life force energy arises from Asian Daoist and Tantric systems of sacred sexual practice. Some schools of thought teach that frequent ejaculation depletes a man’s life force, leaving him weakened and vulnerable to illness. Some also teach that excess ejaculation may interfere with attaining enlightenment through sexual intercourse. These varied traditions are  ancient, complex, and can be confusing. Yet they have thousands of years of knowledge about the body, mind, and spirit connection to sexuality and are a great gift and resource to people now. Some of the healing practices I use are inspired by Daoist and Tantric traditions.

When I work with men, I teach how orgasm and ejaculation are two separate things. Orgasm sometimes brings on ejaculation. Semen is a nutrient-rich carrier of the male seed of life. It’s marvelous gift to a man, his partner, the earth, and future generations. When ejaculation accompanies a man’s orgasm, his semen needs to be treated in a sacred manner, honoring the gift to life that it is.

Feeling orgasm independent of ejaculation is a whole new experience for most men. I show men how to delay ejaculation to allow the body to feel more erotic energy, sensation, and pleasure. Any man can learn to manage his body and energy to feel expanded orgasm. It is a skill that can be mastered, and the possibilities for healing, feeling, creativity and power are infinite.

TAladdinso answer answer the question, No, I do not believe that ejaculation alone depletes a man’s life force as long as he is engaging in orgasmic ejaculation with loving consciousness. It is other mental, physical, and emotional toxicity that can harm a man’s sexuality.

I also believe that life force is more available for creativity, strength, and meeting challenges when a man can also learn to experience orgasm independently of ejaculation. It is by coming to know this vital energy that toxicity and trauma can be healed.

So you’re asking, why did your high school football coach warn you not to have sex on the night before the big game? Because he wanted you on the field like a killer, not a lover! It wasn’t your life force, but your aggression he wanted to preserve. Orgasm releases oxytocin, which makes a man roll over and fall asleep, hopefully with his arms wrapped around his beloved. This creates an emotional bond of love, which is very good for a man’s health, his community, and his children. And that’s a topic for another blog post!

Are you ready to tap into the totality of your masculine energy and experience aspects of your sexuality that you didn’t know you didn’t know?   Come to Diva Carla’s one on one King's Love Energy Intensive program. Visit this link to learn more.

I Love Desire

The Vortex of Desire, Part 2

Does the Vortex of your desire feel like Dorothy’s tornado? Is your life swirling with chaos, fear, and frustration?  Do you feel like desire hurts because you don’t believe you’ll ever have what you want? Do you put your hands over your eyes and ears and play small, because it seems safer than riding that wild horse?

Would it be easier to become a Buddhist?

Clearing out my office of way too much old stuff, I opened a folded paper to find a poem by Molly Peacock, Why I am Not a Buddhist. It begins:

    “I love desire, the state of want and the thought of how to get; building a kingdom in a soul requires desire.”

Raven and sea I love desire, too. I love the state of wanting something that makes a hole in my heart, in my life. Desire makes for itself a vacant space for that beloved desired thing, person, event, condition to come in. That’s why I cleaned out my office: to make space for something I dearly desire.

I love desire even though it hurts sometimes. I may be acutely aware of the edges of that space, and the emptiness can feel so big!

What’s that feeling like for you? What pops for you when you hear DESIRE?

“... and the thought of how to get...”

You have to taste it, round in your mouth, trace the outlines of the shape of what you want. Fill the space with flavor, texture, color, smell. It burns and glows with pulsing heat. You gotta feel it! Yes, feel it all over-- it’s sexual!

“building a kingdom in a soul...”

Oh, this is good! It’s building a life from desire. Yes, you can have what you want, the way you want it! Though you have to know what it is you want.

What’s your soul’s kingdom like? Can you call its name? Do you keep its photo in your wallet? Do you flirt with it? It will come when you call, and you’ll see it faster when you know what it looks like and feels like!

You gotta feel it like you’ve already got it.

When your divine longing makes you cry out Will I Ever Have??? What’s taking You so long?

Pause. Be still. Feel the deliciousness of the desire in your body. Ask your desire what it wants you to do for it right now.

Are you blushing?
Your desire wants you to have an orgasm for it. Want it, love it, believe in it and feel it that much!

Yeah, baby!


Diva Carla helps you create your beautiful life from the heart of your desire, and fire it up with your free flowing sexual energy. Click HERE to schedule your complimentary Desire Discovery phone conversation with Diva Carla.

The Vortex of Desire

The Vortex of Desire, Part 1

72 Galaxy Lover
This morning my journal fell open to a page where I'd written: “When we want to create something we do not yet believe we possess, we stand inside of fear, rather than come from a place of possibility." from Katherine Woodward Thomas, in Calling in the One.

These days I have been feeling myself very much on the edge of my life, staring over a vast expanse, succumbing to vertigo, terrified of spreading my wings. NOT TRUSTING MY WINGS TO UNFURL AND SUPPORT ME.

Do you ever feel this way?

It is easy when faced with challenging decisions, especially ones that promise great change and growth, to let fear govern thoughts. Instead of owning expansion, we may feel contracted and anxious. This is not a productive mindset in which to make important decisions.

When life is calling us to greatness, to healing, to play bigger in our world, it can be so scary. It feels like we risk so much. We see our options and resources as small and inadequate to meet the challenge. It's easy to look back and see the contracted, tight, familiar funnel of the past. When we look into the wide mouth of the vortex, we tend to see the whirling chaos and speed.

How can I navigate this fearful whirlwind, you may ask. Who will I be, what will it cost, what may I lose?

The only way to navigate change is to remain in the center. In the center you are anchored by stillness, and your soul instantly expands. You can feel what that's like in your experience, and once felt, the contraction and anxiety become intolerable.

How do you reach the center? Follow your desire. Know what you want, and see that there is no room for it in the contracted, straight-jacket "safety" of the past. What ever you want specifically, it adds up to More Love, More Happiness, More Possibility, More Peace, More Abundance.

It's our natural state.

Your desire calls you into the Vortex of creation. You get to choose from a place of expansion and possibility.

It feels GOOD.

Winter's Over!

Rumi sings of Spring. Maine lies thawing under a blanket of Spring Snow, and we wonder sometimes, will we ever behold the rose naked again? Yet our souls go dancing because the earth quickens on this day after the Equinox. It is not December, it IZ Spring. We are awake, alive, in love again. The bee tickles the  the first bloom of rhodora into her deep blush, while we touch one another in curious ecstacy, just to hear the melody.

The Music We Are

Did you hear that winter’s over? The basil
and the carnations cannot control their

laughter. The nightingale, back from his
wandering, has been made singing master

over the birds. The trees reach out their
congratulations. The soul goes dancing

through the king’s doorway. Anemones blush
because they have seen the rose naked.

Spring, the only fair judge, walks in the
courtroom, and several December thieves steal

away, Last year’s miracles will soon be
forgotten. New creatures whirl in from non-

existence, galaxies scattered around their
feet. Have you met them? Do you hear the

bud of Jesus crooning in the cradle? A single
narcissus flower has been appointed Inspector

of Kingdoms. A feast is set. Listen: the
wind is pouring wine! Love used to hide

inside images: no more! The orchard hangs
out its lanterns. The dead come stumbling by

in shrouds. Nothing can stay bound or be
imprisoned. You say, “End this poem here,

and wait for what’s next.” I will. Poems
are rough notations for the music we are.

~Mevlana Rumi

Translated by Coleman Barks

Rhodora Bee
Rhodora Bee by Carla Sanders

Gratitude for Pleasure

Fragrant apple blossoms When making love, whether solo with your Self, or together with your beloved, be amazed, humbled, and grateful for your body's awesome capacity to feel pleasure.  Let each breath sing praise for the blossoming of your sensation, emotion, and connection. For the pleasure of this moment with your beloved and your Self, let your gratitude flood your being and overflow into thanksgiving for all of life. Know that your sex is a blessing, and your lovemaking a Psalm.

Too Hot for Breakfast?

My last two Love Letters published a speech I had written with Rotarians in mind. I thought it was tame, though my Rotary Champion decided it was too hot for Rotary. Read Part 1 and Part 2.

Last week I visited a Women's Entrepreneur Networking group. It was a breakfast meeting. The feedback I received was that some women were offended by the language I used when I spoke about my business. Upon pressing the caller delivering this news, she admitted that the offensive language was the word "Orgasm". I am fairly certain the only time I used that word was in giving my business name, Orgasmic Alchemy.

My short business introduction for women's groups goes something like this: I work with professional women in midlife who are stressed, worried, overwhelmed, frustrated, or heart-broken about relationships and sexuality. When they work with me, they feel relaxed, confident, empowered and in touch with their bodies. As a result they have better relationships, live their life purpose joyfully, make more money, and have better sex.

I have compassion for people who are triggered by the language I use: words like sex, orgasm, even pleasure. I used to be triggered too. Especially the word orgasmic. I once had a friend, now passed on, who used "orgasmic" as a superlative for every happy experience. I hated that quirk. Why? Because the word orgasmic reminded me of the pain and inadequacy I felt in the experience of my own sexuality.

I know too well the pain of feeling like there is something missing at the core of your Soul, and the belief that it's missing because something is wrong with you. You feel like you're missing something that every one else has, or maybe you have too much of something and it's wrong and unacceptable, and you expend a lot of energy controlling your thoughts and feelings. I've felt both kinds of pain. I think I developed feelings of inadequacy and experienced that because the Oh So MUCH I felt as a child was completely unacceptable to the people around me. My long path of healing from this half-life is the reason I do this work of Orgasmic Alchemy today.

So I feel great compassion for the women--and men--who are offended or embarrassed by my work and my speaking out. Hell, I make myself blush sometime. I don't do it for effect. I speak out and say the name of Orgasm because Silence is Deadly. Because I am a healer, and the healing journey is not a comfortable journey. I will go back to that group and speak with them tenderly and truthfully the downside of feeling comfortable.

You see, my work is not about making you feel comfortable. My work is about going with you to the places inside you that you are afraid to look at by yourself.  My role is to hold your hand, or even wrap my arms around you, so you can go to those scary places and make direct contact with your own magnificence. Because that's what lives there: your divine beautiful Self. I help you go there, and stay with you till you come back with the treasure.
There are moments in the transformational journey that are scary like that. The rest is pure pleasure and a lot of fun.

And yes, the people who choose to do healing work with me are courageous, because this is a path into your wild self that must be trekked on foot. You can't look up the directions on Google Maps or use your Garmin. Jet Blue doesn't fly there (but it will fly you to me if you live far away). And you say YES to this expedition ready or not because your subconscious mind will never be ready. Only your courageous heart of desire will be able to guide you onto the path.

NOW is always the right time to choose freedom. It's not always comfortable, but the food is good, and the view is magnificent.